Wow.. been a while since I’ve blogged. From October until this month things were EXTREMELY rough. However, life has calmed down, thank God. Now I’m playing catch up on my studies and trying to catch up on bills etc. (who isnt right?). I am so extremely grateful that Preston’s medications are working right now. RIGHT NOW being the key words. You see he isn’t on anything too new. A brief recap on Preston’s medications. Risperdal.. our best friend and worst enemy. The drug works great for Preston but makes him eat compulsively and obsessively, its non stop. As soon as he gets home he rushes for food.. he will compulsively and erratically grab: popcorn, dinty moore, ranch & lettuce, chips & salsa, ice cream, juice, pudding, yogurt, etc. I have to hurry and have something ready before he walks in the door and sometimes that helps sometimes it doesn’t. I’m not exaggerating when I say he eats non stop. About $200 a week in food. So with that being said science and nature take its course and my child gains weight..which means the risperdal isn’t as effective, so the psychiatrist ups the dosage. Then he eats more.. up dosage, more weight gain, more eating… you see the pattern right? So then it gets to a point that he can no longer take it because he becomes borderline diabetic. Uh oh…This is where the “fun” starts. Aggressive abusive behaviors. Destructive behaviors..DESTRUCTIVE. He breaks glass, throws food and drinks, flips over the tables and furniture, he broke a stainless steel chandelier last week. He literally pulled it out of the ceiling and it almost fell on him. A few days ago he came to me with a bloody hand, I have no idea how or where he cut himself.
He floods the bathroom nonstop, by flooding I mean he splashes and ALWAYS finds a way to flood the bathrooms. I can sit on the toilet while he showers (which is about every 30 minutes right now; which is better than every 15 minutes) and he will start splashing and I make him get out then he has rage, he meltsdown, he gets aggressive, he becomes destructive and violent. My floor is caving in for the 2nd time. I remodeled the bathroom last year trying to make it waterproof, that cost $10,000. Fail.
However I am not alone. I know that I am a good parent. it is HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE to do this alone. One person CANNOT control these behaviors by themselves or with a spouse other siblings etc. Which is the reason for me seeking help and to place Preston into a home with 24 hour staffing. I’m working on it and just waiting for our fist big meeting. So right now its the calm before the storm. I know that in the future I am going to have to fund-raise to come up with the money to make Preston’s plan work. I know this because my friend that i have never met in person but on facebook is going through very similiar circumstances with her autistic daughter Issy. Her name is Issy Stapleton and she is at a facility that helps children with autism and behavioral issues. The center as mentioned in previous posts is $800 per DAY. I am a widowed mom struggling to pay for dinty moore. I don’t know how I am going to do this, but I will the same as the Stapleton’s.
It’s my birthday. I am going to relish in the joys I have had latley like sleep, and hugs from my son and smiles on his face. It’s still a battle, he’s still aggressive and destructive, but right now, today, this week, our life is “stable”. Now you could look at those pictures and think..”that’s stable”? Yep, that’s stable and a great life for us. Not. BUT it’s not as bad as it was. “that bad” meaning…Im not sleeping with one eye open wondering if my son is going to whack me over the head with a chair or bowl, or a knife or something. Thank God.. but it’s temporary. It’s my birthday and I have such a great group of friends who have sent cards, hand delivered beer and put it in my car for me, a good friend insisted I celebrate my birthday. My mom is taking Preston for two WHOLE NIGHTS! I am going to a casino and going to do my damnedest to forget about my house and my woes. I am going to celebrate my life. My “calm” life and try not to think about the storm ahead.
It’s my birthday, MANY people say what can I do.. there isn’t a ton but you listening and reading is good. For right now we are okay. BUT it is my birthday and I am asking a favor. I need to pay it forward. I am asking that if you can spare a dollar (or more if you can/will) to my friend Kelli Stapleton. The money will go towards keeping Issy where she needs to be for a little bit longer to receive the help she needs. Every penny counts and every day at treatment helps this family. There will come a day when I will be in the same boat, but today, this week, right now… we’re okay. My friend is not. Please help of you can. That’s what I want for my birthday. Here is the link:
Thank you for reading, thank you for caring, thank you for loving us. Most of all thank you for the support, the comments, the positive vibes, and mostly the prayers. I couldn’t do this without you… yes YOU! YOU are all I have. I read your comments with tears streaming from my face and it puts a fire under my ass. It makes me “keep on keeping on”. Everyday. Today. God Bless you all. Have a great weekend…Im off to the casino. 🙂